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A sexual fantasy, or erotic fantasy, is an Autoeroticism mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person's Human sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. (2025). 9783031089565, Springer, Cham. ISBN 9783031089565 (2025). 9781405190060 ISBN 9781405190060 A sexual fantasy can be created by the person's imagination or memory, and may be triggered autonomously or by external stimulation such as erotic literature or pornography, a physical object, or sexual attraction to another person. Anything that may give rise to sexual arousal may also produce a sexual fantasy, and sexual arousal may in turn give rise to fantasies.
Sexual fantasies are nearly universal, being reported in many societies across the globe. However, because of the nature of some fantasies, the actual putting of such fantasies into action is far less common, due to cultural, social, moral, and religious constraints. In some cases, even a discussion by a person of sexual fantasies is subject to social and inhibitions. Some people find it convenient to act out fantasies through sexual roleplay. A fantasy may be a positive or negative experience, or even both. It may be in response to a past experience and can influence future sexual behavior. A person may not wish to enact a sexual fantasy in real life, and since the process is entirely imaginary, they are not limited to acceptable or practical fantasies, which can provide information on the psychological processes behind sexual behavior.
To measure the reliability of a person's reporting of fantasies, researchers may compare a person's reported sexual arousal against actual measures of arousal, using techniques such as vaginal photoplethysmography, penile , or other tools, such as genital pulse amplitude, genital blood volume, and heart rate. A 1977 study found that males judged arousal based on blood volume far better than females, and that males and females were equal when judging arousal based on pulse amplitude measures. Additionally, females were better at judging low arousal.
As with studies of sex in general, samples used in studies may be too small, not be fully random, or not fully representative of a population. This makes similarities between studies especially important. Women may be prone to underreporting the frequency of fantasy because they do not realize that they are becoming aroused, or they will not say that they are; one common problem is that they will imagine romantic imagery and become aroused, but not report the fantasy because it is not sexually explicit. Many studies are modern and are carried out in Western society, which, through factors like gender roles and taboo, are not widely representative, raising the need for more studies in different societies and historical eras. With regards to age, there is very little knowledge of sexual fantasies in children aged 5 to 12, and there is a need for longitudinal studies across a life span. Sex is often a taboo topic, so conducting a truly honest and representative example can be difficult in some areas. For example, a 1997 study on gay men found that almost 75% were afraid of being "found out", which complicates studies.
Sexual fantasies are increasingly viewed as a necessary component to a healthy relationship.Klinger, E. (1971). Structure and functions of fantasy. New York, NY: John Wiley. Accordingly, theorists have argued that fantasies may be used to encourage and promote sexual pleasure between partners.Singer, J. L. (1966). Day dreaming. New York, NY: Random House. Researchers have additionally found a positive correlation between instances of sexual fantasizing and increased orgasm, arousal, and general contentment. The relative benefits of sexual fantasies are summarized in a statement by Stroller; "sexual fantasies are a private pornography in which we rehearse over and over again needs that are nearly impossible to fulfil in actual sex".Coleman. D., & BusH. S. (1977). The liberation of sexual fantasy. Psychol Today. Sexual fantasizing therefore allows an individual to fulfil desires that cannot be realistically achieved. In this sense, researchers assert that fantasizing about extra-marital, or multiple-partner sex is positively correlated with long-term partnerships. As such, sexual fantasies are viewed as means to combat sexual dissatisfaction.
Sexual fantasising may also be used to settle relational hardships, as opposed to sexual dissatisfaction. For instance, women from disturbed marriages were found to fantasise significantly more often than happily married women. Creating hypothetical scenarios may be used as a coping mechanism, particularly by women, in handling stress and discomfort. As such, fantasies allow individuals to enter a new realm (e.g. experience a position of power, innocence, or guilt) that contrasts the source of anguish, and enhances feelings of self-worth.
The purpose and function of sexual fantasies are explained rather differently from an evolutionary perspective. Bowlby's (1969/1982) attachment theory asserts that the absence of adequate attachment figures can devastate self-esteem.Bowlby, J. (1982). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Basic Books. It is suggested that more anxiously attached individuals use sex to attain emotional security. Accordingly, they might engage in sex through a longing for sexual intimacy, and increase the frequency of sexual behavior under conditions that challenge the status of their relationship. Contrastingly, the avoidant attachment type is apprehensive about the intimacy posed by sexual relations, and will take active measures to avoid feelings of closeness. Patterns of sexual behavior include emotion free sex with casual partners, engaging in sex to promote oneself, and feelings of detachment during intercourse. Sexual fantasies are likely to follow attachment-related themes. It is noted that anxious attachment individuals report significantly more instances of sexual fantasizing, and portray the self as feeble, dependable and powerless. Avoidant attachment types report fantasies in which relationships are regarded as cold, unfeeling and impersonal. As such, sexual fantasies serve the primary function of fulfilling interpersonal goals through the mode of mental representation.
Evolutionary theory provides another interesting explanation as to the purpose and function of gender differences in sexual fantasies. Research literature states that women are more likely to prioritize their own physical and emotional sensations, where men conjure images of sexual partners. Women are also more likely to fantasize about a single individual with whom they have shared history, or those whom they wish to pursue a long-term relationship. Throughout the course of time, it has proved advantageous for the male to copulate with young and fertile females. They evolved an ability to decipher "fresh features" of reproductive partners; clear skin, thick hair, fuller lips, and so forth. By comparison, females are driven to reproduce on the basis of parental investment, and a quality gene pool possessed by the male.Trivers, R. L. (1972). Parental investment and sexual selection. In B. Cambell (Ed.), Sexual Selection and the Descent of Man, 1871-1971. Chicago: Aldine. From a female perspective, the risks of copulating with multiple male partners far outweigh any potential benefits.Symons, D. (1987). Can Darwin's view of life shed light on human sexuality? In J. H. Geer and W. T. O'Donohue (Eds.), Theories of Human Sexuality. New York: Plenum. It is therefore unsurprising that males visualize specific physical features; its origins and purpose can be found in evolution. It also follows that where males project outwardly, viewing women and a means to obtain sexual pleasure, women have become conditioned to remain passive in this role. They do so under close scrutiny of male sexual attention,Symons, D. (1979). The Evolution of Human Sexuality. New York: Oxford University Press. to fantasize a specific and special partner.
A person may have no desire to carry out a fantasy; people often use fantasies to help plan out future sexual encounters. Fantasies occur in all individuals and at any time of the day, although it has been suggested that they are more common among frequent daydreamers. Sexual fantasy is frequent during masturbation, although this may be truer for men than for women.
During sexual contact, some people can use their fantasies to "turn off" undesirable aspects of an act. Conversely, a person may use fantasy to focus and maintain arousal, such as a man receiving fellatio ignoring a distraction. Men tend to be aware of only parts of themselves during sex—they are more likely to focus on the physical stimulation of one area, and as such, do not see themselves as a "whole".
Many couples share their fantasies to feel closer and gain more intimacy and trust, or simply to become more aroused or effect a more powerful physical response. Some couples share fantasies as a form of outercourse; this has been offered as an explanation for the rise of BDSM during the 1980s — in order to avoid contracting HIV, people turned to BDSM as a safe outlet for sexual fantasy. Couples may also act out their fantasies through sexual roleplay.
Fantasies may also be used as a part of sex therapy. They can enhance insufficiently exciting sexual acts to promote higher levels of sexual arousal and release. A 1986 study that looked at married women indicated that sexual fantasies helped them achieve arousal and orgasm. As a part of therapy, Anorgasmia women are commonly encouraged to use fantasy and masturbation.
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According to a 2004 United States survey, the incidence of certain fantasies is higher than the actual performance.
On the other hand, women's fantasies tend to be more focused upon mental sexual stimulation and contain more emotion and connection. Thus, women are more likely to report romantic sexual fantasies that are high in intimacy and affection, for instance associating their male partner with heroism and viewing them as chivalric rescuers. Sociobiology offers an explanation for this finding, such that women may be likely to show commitment to their male partner in return for his investment of resources to help raise her offspring, thus increasing offspring chance of survival.
The sexes also differ in terms of how much they fantasize about dominance and submission. Men fantasize about dominance much more frequently than submission, whereas women fantasize about submission much more frequently than dominance.Lehmiller, J. J. (2012). How Do Men’s and Women’s Sexual Fantasies Differ? The Psychology of Human Sexuality. Despite these differences, most individuals do not conform to these Gender role, and that male sexuality is not innately aggressive, nor is female sexuality inherently passive, and that these stereotypes may decline with age.
Sexual fantasies may instead vary as a result of individual differences, such as personality or learning experiences, and not gender per se. Indeed, it has been suggested that gender differences in sexual fantasies have actually narrowed over time, and may continue to do so, for example with regard to variety of sexual fantasy and the amount of fantasizing reported by each of the sexes.
| + Table 2. Proportion of sexual fantasies experienced, divided by gender. ! colspan="3" | Percentage of Fantasy (%) | |
| Men | Women | |
| Group sex | 42 | 16 |
| Famous person | 16 | 27 |
| Homosexuality | 10 | 19 |
| Stranger | 33 | 39 |
A social constructionist explanation may say that this is because women are raised to be chaste and selective with men, whereas evolutionary theory may state that ancestral women preferred the reproductive security of having one partner, such that being faithful to him will result in a greater likelihood of him investing resources in her and her offspring, an idea which is still ingrained in modern women today. Evolutionary psychology can also help to shed light on the finding that females have a higher proportion of sexual fantasies involving a male celebrity. The theory suggests that this mating strategy may have been advantageous for our female ancestors, such that affiliation with a high status male increases offspring survival rate via protection and provision.
A 2005 study compared heterosexual and homosexual women in the Los Angeles metropolitan area and found some differences in the content of their fantasies. In gender-specific findings, homosexual women had more fantasies about specific parts of a woman (face, breasts, clitoris, vagina, buttocks, arms or hair), while heterosexual women had more fantasies about specific parts of a man's body (face, penis, buttocks, arms or hair). Homosexual women also had more fantasies of "delighting many women"; there was no significant difference when subjects were asked if they fantasized about delighting many men. There was no significant difference in responses to questions that were not gender-specific.
The most frequently cited hypothesis for why women fantasize of being forced into some sexual activity is that the fantasy avoids societally induced guilt—the woman does not have to admit responsibility for her and behavior. A 1978 study by Moreault and Follingstad was consistent with this hypothesis, and found that women with high levels of sex guilt were more likely to report fantasy themed around being overpowered, dominated, and helpless. In contrast, Pelletier and Herold used a different measure of guilt and found no correlation. Other research suggests that women who report forced sex fantasies have a more positive attitude towards sexuality, contradicting the guilt hypothesis. A 1998 study by Strassberg and Lockerd found that women who fantasized about force were generally less guilty and more erotophilia, and as a result had more frequent and more varied fantasies. Additionally, it said that force fantasies are clearly not the most common or the most frequent.
The moral acceptance and formal study of sexual fantasy in Western culture is relatively new. Prior to their acceptance, sexual fantasies were seen as evil or sinful, and they were commonly seen as horrid thoughts planted into the minds of people by "agents of the devil". Even when were willing to accept and study fantasies, they showed little understanding and went so far as to diagnose sexual fantasies in females as a sign of Female hysteria. Prior to the early twentieth century, many experts viewed sexual fantasy (particularly in females) as abnormal. Sigmund Freud suggested that those who experienced sexual fantasies were sexually deprived or frustrated or that they lacked adequate sexual stimulation and satisfaction. Over several decades, sexual fantasies became more acceptable as notable works and compilations, such as "Morality, Sexual Facts and Fantasies", by Dr Patricia Petersen, Alfred Kinsey Kinsey Reports, by Phyllis and Eberhard Kronhausen, and Nancy Friday My Secret Garden, were published. Today, they are regarded as natural and positive elements of one's sexuality, and are often used to enhance sexual practices, both in normal settings and in therapy. Many Christians believe that the Bible prohibits sexual fantasies about people other than one's spouse in . Others believe that St Paul includes fantasy when he condemns works of the flesh such as "immorality" or "uncleanness". Despite the Western World's relatively lax attitudes towards sexual fantasy, many people elsewhere still feel shame and guilt about their fantasies. This may contribute to personal sexual dysfunction, and regularly leads to a decline in the quality of a couple's sex life.
Studies have also been carried out to examine the direct connection between guilt and sexual fantasy, as opposed to sex and guilt. One study found that in a sample of 160 Christian right, 16% of men and women reported guilt after sexual fantasies, 5% were unhappy with themselves, and 45% felt that their fantasies were "morally flawed or unacceptable". Studies that examined guilt about sexual fantasy by age have unclear results—Knoth et al. (1998) and Ellis and Symons (1990) found that younger people tended to feel less guilt about their fantasies, whereas Mosher and White (1980) found the opposite.
A 2006 study examined guilt and jealousy in American heterosexual married couples. It associated guilt with an individual's fantasy (" How guilty do you feel when you fantasize about...") and jealousy with the partner's fantasy (" How jealous do you feel when your partner fantasizes about..."). Higher levels of guilt were found among women, couples in the 21–29 age range, shorter relationships and marriages, Republicans, and Roman Catholics; lower levels in men, couples in the 41–76 range, longer relationships, Democrats, and . Higher levels of jealousy were found in women, couples in the 21–29 range, Roman Catholics and non-Jewish religious affiliations; lower levels were found in men, couples in the 41–76 range, and Jews and the non-religious.
When a study used statistical analysis and the Wilson sex fantasy questionnaire to investigate atypical fantasies, having Zoophilia or Pedophilia fantasies were found to be rare and only 7 themes including urination, Cross-dressing, rape etc. were considered atypical. A lot of studies have also found that "atypical" sexual fantasies are quite common as indulging in greater varieties of sexual fantasies increases sex-life satisfaction.Kahr, B. (2008). Who's Been Sleeping in Your Head?: The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies. Basic Books. For example, in 2011 study found that over half of the older men in Berlin had "atypical" sexual fantasies with 21.8% of them having sadistic fantasies–a prerequisite for Lust murder.Reinhardt, J. M. (1957). Sex perversions and sex crimes: a psychocultural examination of the causes, nature and criminal manifestations of sex perversions. Police science series. Another study found that dominance and submission themes were extremely popular in pornographic searches.Ogas, O., & Gaddam, S. (2011). A billion wicked thoughts: What the Internet tells us about sexual relationships. Penguin.
Other risk factors that contribute to the likelihood of sex crimes include biological, physiological and psychological factors like (especially paranoia and psychosis); violent history, arrests, poor academic performance, substance abuse, financial gain, unemployment, and watching pornography. However, it is usually the combination of childhood sexual abuse and deviant fantasies that facilitate the jump from sexual fantasies to sexual crimes and the nature of the crimes. For example, most rapists report both early traumatic experiences and sexually deviant fantasies and sex murderers of children reported a significantly more pre-crime childhood sexual abuse and deviant sexual fantasies than sexual murderers of women.
They occur in high prevalence alongside other paraphilic fantasies in Psychopathy and individuals with dark triad traits. High narcissism correlate strongly with impersonal sexual fantasies and studies suggested that the deviant and sadistic sexual fantasies serve as a coping mechanism for narcissistic vulnerability. Higher levels of psychopathy are associated with, impersonal, unrestricted, deviant, paraphilic and wide ranges of sexual fantasies. However, it has been suggested that this is due to an increased Libido, which correlates with paraphilic interests. Also, psychopathy increases the effect that porn has on the development of deviant fantasies such its contribution to the likelihood of engaging in rape fantasies. The effects of psychopathy go further to increase likelihood of individuals carrying out their unrestricted deviant fantasies in real life such as engaging in BDSM/sadomasochism or even rape. However, BDSM fantasies have become quite common among the general population, possibly due to its normalization by the popular Fifty Shades trilogy. The capitalization of the Fifty Shades trilogy changed the perception of BDSM from being extreme, marginalized and dangerous to being fun, fashionable, and exciting. Mainstreaming Fifty Shades has increased visibility and acceptability of BDSM and has embedded it in everyday life.
A lot of sexual homicides are well planned due to extensive practice in form of sexual fantasies. The murders involve the infliction of a lot of pain and terror and this serves to satisfy the sadistic fantasy, albeit only temporarily. They start trying to replicate their fantasies more accurately with practice and will continue until they are caught as a fantasy can never be replicated with 100% accuracy.
Child abuse plays a significant role in determining if sadistic fantasies will be tried out in real life. Most sexual offenders that suffered childhood sexual abuse reveal an early onset of rape fantasies, and sexual concerns like sexual conflict, incompetence, inhibitions, ignorance and social dysfunction. These concerns cause stress and the offender relies on their deviant fantasies as a coping mechanism for their stress. The unsuccessful resolution of the aforementioned issues causes an obsession with their fantasy world, where they feel in control. They become heavily invested in their deviant fantasies and when their fantasies start to lose their effectiveness due to desensitization or repression, they escalate and start actualizing their fantasies to relieve internal stress. They plan their crimes to feel arousal or commit violent compulsive murders. Violent compulsive crimes are impulsive and occur because resistance and restrictions that prevent violent and sadistic fantasies from being acted out, can lead to anxiety or psychosomatic manifestations. These manifestations then cause uncontrollable desires to act out one's fantasy in order to find relief.
Researchers found that the sadistic contents in fantasies began appearing about 1–7 years after the start of masturbation. Due to social awkwardness, most offenders lacked the opportunity to practice their sexual skills with a desired partner or gender and this contributes significantly to their reliance on their fantasies. Eventually, their fantasies and "tryouts" become their only source of arousal.
Some studies suggest that deviant sexual scripts might be learnt through social learning theory due to an early exposure via sexual molestation and by orgasms and masturbation. However, not all sexually molested children grow up to be offenders unable to stop themselves from acting out their fantasies. MacCulloch and colleagues have suggested that the early traumatic experiences cause the early development of sadistic fantasies through sensory preconditioning and this might be the reason offenders find it too difficult to restrain themselves from trying out their sadistic fantasies in real life. While some might argue cognitive distortions as the cause of sexual crimes such as pedophilia, evidence suggests that cognitive distortions are used to justify actions after caught and do not motivate them.
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